self-fulfillment

When My First Step Turned out into a Success

Days rolled fast. It has been more than couple of weeks now, since I left the Ateneo High School. With the length of stay being with my students I feel I am of those licensed performing professors in the said school. What a challenge it was. However, that short history of my presence there as a student teacher seems like a hard to forget experience and, even more, considerably worth remembering.

So there I was – the first day I brought myself in front of a number of students, the fruition of what we called self-fulfillment has not yet come – obviously of the fact that that time was just the start of aiming for such a purpose.

I must admit, I'd had many doubts during my first few days of my stay of teaching. Nevertheless, apparently, I know that I was not the only one who has struggled with those things of reality that I know inevitably come knocking at me during those times. Since it is already normal to being get apprehensive of what every thing I do, during my practicum( probably of the fact that I am just a first time performer) I was intensely concerned with what my students would think or say about my performance. And actually, jitters like Will they like my performance?, Do I look good enough?, Will I not make mistakes?, Won't they laugh?, Won't they tease, ridicule, or criticize?, Will they walk out on me if I forget a line or two?, Will they boo me off the platform? These are just some of the things that have bothered me a lot every time i get stand in front of my students of the upper classes. Likewise, there are other questions that added up to my not-just-come worries. Such questions are “Can I successfully commit to being with them(students) for more than a couple of months?”, or “Would they reject me, or the fact that I truly believed – would they accept me as I am?”

Looking back to the day of our arrival into that school, I did not manage myself but my eyes have just popped out seeing and observing how the not-so-familiar students of the every classroom I pass by behave the way they do. There were cases when I was in the mood of observing same and other classes, it was hard not to perceive students who were not slouching, not sleeping and religiously paying their full attention to whatever their respective teachers are teaching them.

I know situations as that seem the not so usual but already a always-taken-for-granted problem of most educational institutions, even teachers, for many years now. I know that even teachers-to-be also haven't wanted that to experience – even once in in their lives. So of that experience, I got troubled by it -troubled in sense that if I myself who often think and feel confident enough of my field could not give what I am supposed to give to my students. It could be a great failure in my part if I could not overcome such and could not even be able to earn at least their respect and valuable trust. In addition, it would be a bad impression to me if I could not purposely help myself understand what effective teaching with learning really is.

However, on the brighter side of it, though I found hard time during my practice teaching of the reasons that teaching is therefore a wearying task and always require grind demands of daily preparations, I was able to cover up all my anxieties of all things concerned. After all, everything has done smoothly and into a nice way. One good thing about my stay is that I was able to share my very self to my so closed friends – my students. Another thing is that I was able to communicate with them quite well, to the delight of my cooperating teacher, who is no other than my too-much-adored Mr. Claro Chavez. I was very thankful for whatever he has done and shared to me that even that time I was in the midst of frustrations in the field he was there who shared his exemplary attitudes – just to help and support to whatever of my limitations are. I really idolize him of his thoughts and of completely different styles of presenting his every teaching, especially when he gets started injecting humor to all his discussions. Because of him, my creativity in teaching also put into test. All things I've learned from my stay has given me enriching exposure to the world of teaching students of different backgrounds.

All the learning I cultured from my practicum somehow more than just self-fulfillment. And really appreciate all that much. I indebted of all what Mr. Claro have taught me, especially when it comes to maximizing my skills and potentials in my field. I owed him whatsoever I have achieved and of the manna I have right now. I owed to him what I am now – a proud-to-be teacher, who is always set to face great challenges.

Now that I have reached and attained my goal without noticing it because I did not mind the sacrifices but valued the satisfaction I felt, if given a chance to start a new life, without hesitation and regrets I will always and forever be a teacher of my students in the AdNU High School.